During my lifetime I've come across many religions, belief systems, and various spiritual teachings. Now I reckon that they've all got something to offer… however at the same time… I don't feel that any of them has all the answers. Think about it… why do you follow a certain belief? Is it because you were told that it was the truth by your parents, school, preacher etc.?
Here's a thought… just say you were raised by a pack of wolves (like that kid from The Jungle Book)? How do you think you'd behave? My guess is you'd probably be acting like one of the other wolf cubs in the pack. The way I see it… we're just products of our environment. If your parents happen to be Christian, then you're a Christian by default. The same thing if they happened to be Muslim – and so on and so forth.
Anyway, below is a poster I used to have on my wall that pretty much somes up how I feel about all the so-called paths to enlightenment and ultimate truth. It's not really meant to offend anyone, so please don't take it too seriously. So, which one of the boxes below do you fit into?
Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens."
Buddhism: Shit will happen to you again.
Buddhism #2: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.
Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
Agnostic #2: Can you prove that shit happens?
Agnostic #3: What is this shit?
Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
Atheism: What shit?
Atheism #2: I don't believe this shit!
Sikhism: Leave our shit alone.
Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Islam #2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
Islam #3: If shit happens, blame Israel.
Islam #4: If shit happens, take a hostage.
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
Orthodox Judaism: So shit happens, already!
Nation of Islam: Don’t take no shit.
New age: Visualise shit happening.
New age #2: Shit happens and it happens to smell good.
Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< Shit happens.
Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?
Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Shit has been prophesised and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
Moonies: Only really happy shit happens.
Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama.
Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
Protestantism #2: Shit happens, amen to that.
Televangelism: Send money or shit will happen to you.
Televangelism #2: Send more shit
Baptism: We’ll wash the shit right off you.
Mormonism: Excrement happens (don’t say shit).
Mormonism #2: God sent us this excrement.
Wicca: You can make shit happen, but shit will happen to you three times.
Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!
Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half on the time.
Mysticism: This is really weird shit.
Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.
Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.
Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.
Shintoism: You inherit the shit of your ancestors.
Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.
Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again.
Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work.
Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday.
Creationism: God made all shit.
Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.
Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor – pray!
Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind.
Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.
Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
Utopianism: This shit does not stink.
Darwinism: This shit was once food.
Darwinism #2: Survival of the shittiest.
Capitalism: This is MY shit.
Communism: Let’s share this shit.
Marxism: You have nothing to lose but your shit
Conspiracy theorism: “THEY” shit on us!
Psycho-analysis: Tell me about your shit.
Suicidal: I’ve had enough of this shit.
Optimism: Shit won’t happen to me.
Trekism: to boldly shit where no-one has shit before.
Shakespearean: To shit or not to shit, that is the question.
Descrates: I shit therefore I am.
Freud: Shit is a phallic symbol.
Feminism: Men are shit.
Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us…
Commercialism: Let's package this shit.
Lawyers: For enough money, I can get you out of shit.
Acupuncturist: Hold still or this will hurt like shit.
Dog: I just shit in your shoe.
Cat: Dogs are shit.
Mouse: Oh shit! A cat!
Politically correct: Internally processed, nutritionally drained biological output happens.
Einstein: Shit is relative.
Family gatherings: relatives are shit.
Materialism: Whoever dies with the most shit, wins.
Vegetarianism: If it happens to shit, don’t eat it.
Fatalism: Oh shit, it’s going to happen.
Environmentalism: Shit is biodegradable.
Americanism: Who gives a shit?
Statistician: Shit is 84.7% likely to happen
Hip-hop: motherfuck this shiznit, beeatch!
Alcoholics Anonymous: Shit happens-one day at a time!
Tantrism: Fuck this shit
Cynicism: We are all full of shit
Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.
Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
Existentialism #2: What is shit, anyway?
Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
Hedonism: I love it when shit happens.
Hedonism #2: There is nothing like a good shit happening!
Amish: Modern shit is useless.
Church of SubGenius: BoB shits.
Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time.
Voodoo: shit doesn’t happen – we made it happen.
Disneyism: Bad shit doesn’t happen here.
Nihilism: No shit.
Surrealism: Fish happens.
Anyways, I'm off to worship the shrine I built for my insane alter-ego who goes by the name of Billy Lo. Feel free to hit up the comments box and let me know what your view on the ultimate truth is. Who knows… if it's any good, maybe I'll bow down and start worshiping you instead.
