FAQ
Who the hell are you?
I’m just a mad ass, lunatic, gangbang, slap-a-bitch, hopeless-romantic, transatlantic pimp in the south of the pacific sticking dick to porno bitches.
Why the hell did you create this site?
It’s a long story. While playing a Ouiji board high on crack, I received a message from the late and great Bruce Lee. Basically, he expressed to me his disappointment with the current state of the martial arts scene. He then told me that it was my duty to raise the bar and to share this knowledge with the world. Only kidding, I never did play a Ouiji board high on crack (if you must know… I was actually high on PCP). Seriously though… this site is basically just a place for me to share my opinions and random rants with the world. Nothing more… nothing less.
What the hell is an Alchemist?
An alchemist practices alchemy, which is the power or process to transform substances, usually of little value (such as base metals), into a substance of great value (such as gold). Well, that’s how I like to describe my philosophy when it comes to life. I like to experiment with loads of different styles, philosphies and elements, mix them together, and well… hopefully what I’m left with is some form of exotic and deadly cocktail ready to be served down with no chaser.
Why is most of your content in video format?
You know the saying… "A picture is worth a thousand word." Well, if that's the case… I guess a bunch of moving ones are probably worth a couple million. To be honest with you I really can't be bothered to write a whole lot and I'm sure the majority of you have short attention spans and would rather sit back and watch something instead of reading a bunch of endless text.
What' the deal with your youtube channels The Westside Erection & Random Thoughts?
My youtube channels are basically an alternative to the mainstream media currently brainwashing the general public. If you want the raw and uncensored facts of life make sure to check them out. Seriously though… their main purpose is to help you some kill time whenever you're bored. Both channels cover a wide range of topics ranging from the profound, mundane, to the downright absurd. If you haven't yet subscribed to any of them I suggest you click here to find out just why Jet Li is a massive fan of us.
What are your political views?
Click here to find out.
What are your dreams for the future?
To start a worldwide Westside and make every man woman and child bow down to the W. I'm planning on becoming so powerful that I topple all the world governments and have the entire planet throwing up W hand gestures.
Will you marry me?
If you happen to resemble Seren Gibson and don’t mind standing on street corners for extended periods of time, in minus zero degrees, on an empty stomach, dressed head-to-toe in the skimpiest attire known to man, then of course I’ll marry you. As a wise man once said: “Pimpin ain’t easy, but it’s a whole lot of fun.”
Why did the feminist cross the road?
To suck my dick.
Hey… it’s been 3 seconds and you haven’t updated this piece of shit blog?
The reason for that is because outside of working on this site… I also happen to have a life (not a very interesting one, but nether-the-less one that consumes a large chunk of my energy). Therefore, I’ll generally be posting whenever I can find the time. Anyway, to keep up to date, I suggest you bookmark this page (Ctrl+D) and keep checking back because I tend to update and post new stuff up randomly. Either that, or you can subscribe via rss.
Are you insane?
Now that’s between my therapist, my invisible friend, and myself, okay! By the way, dear boss, can you share my thoughts? Psychotherapy is expensive… can you share my cost? If so, then donate… otherwise I’ll be forced to pimp slap you.
Who the hell is your invisible friend?
His name is Billy Lo a.k.a. The Alchemist, a.k.a. The Voodoo child, a.k.a. every fighter's worst nightmare, not to mention… your mother's secret lover. He’s kinda similar to Tyler Durden… except he’s a million times more insane.
What is the meaning of life?
Donate $9.99 and I’ll tell you.
Seriously…. what is the meaning of life?
Y’know, I really should be charging you for this, but hey… what the hell! I’m feeling kinda generous today. Okay, here it is… you ready? The meaning of life is simply to live it till the wheels fall off. That’s just my opinion. Take it or leave it. Just don’t make me repeat it when I get wasted with Jesus (my other invisible friend).
Okay, quick fire question – Out of Oprah, Barbara Walters, and your wife – you’ve got to fuck one, marry one and kill one – who would you do what to?
I’d fuck my wife, kill Barbara Walters and marry Oprah. If you want to know why click here to find out.
What would be your dream fight?
A fight between Rickson Gracie and Emelianenko Fedor would be cool. However, a nude pillow fight involving Rihanna, Frankie Sanford, Keri Hilson, Beyonce Knowles, Rosie Jones and myself will suffice.
How the hell did you get to be so enlightened?
I’ve been kickin' it with Steven Seagal and the Dalai Lama.
How can I contact you?
To contact me, just fill out the contact form. I appreciate any feedback and constructive, as well as harsh and soul destroying criticism you guys may have. So don’t be shy, hit me up and have your say. I promise I’ll try my very best to respond to all your enquiries and suggestions.
Any final words?
Every time I hear the Westside connection… I get a f*ckin erection. Wanna know why? Click here.
