Lately I’ve been doing some research on the origins of Father Christmas, a.k.a. Santa Claus, and uncovered some rather shocking and disturbing facts about him. Apparently, good old Santa has a rather dark and grim past. Anyway, below are some of the facts I managed to dig up.

• The original Santa Claus was a noble African Prince named Mawalaki Asembolwa. However, just like what they did to Jesus, they murdered his image and tried to pass him off as some blue-eyed Caucasian guy.

• The term “Father” in “Father Christmas” was short for Godfather. Santa was responsible for forming the deadly Bloods gang in L.A. He proudly flaunts his affiliation with them by frequently dressing head-to-toe in red.

• Santa is a 33rd degree Mason and is head of a Masonic lodge in the South Pole.

• Santa is responsible for flooding the ghetto with guns and is also responsible for the crack epidemic in the 80s.

• From 1985 to 1987 Santa worked as a drug courier for Pablo Escobar. He frequently made drop-offs using his sleigh and was responsible for the majority of cocaine entering the United States at that time.

• During his time as a drug mule for Santa, Rudolph the reindeer developed a serious addiction to cocaine. He snorted so much that the septum of his nose collapsed and he needed major constructive surgery. Now you know how he got the nickname “The Red nosed Reindeer.”

Okay, still not convinced that Santa’s evil. Well, these last two facts below should seal the deal and put the final nail in the coffin.

• If you take the letter “n” in “Santa” and move it to the end, “Santa” becomes “Satan.” And if you replace the letter “u” in claus with a “w” it becomes Claws. As you can see, when you make these subtle alterations “Santa Claus” now becomes Satan Claws. 

• The devil is often depicted as an evil red being. Santa is dressed head to toe in red (rather weird coincidence… don’t you think?)

So there you have it… there’s the evidence. I urge you to go out there and spread this knowledge. Remember, the truth shall set you free. Anyway, I'm off to pimp up my Xmas tree with bling. See ya!

By JpMunroe aka yourmumgotfishslappedandIdidit

Arguably the best gangster rap album, ever, comes to a crescendo with the gem of a track 'the gangster, the killer and the dope dealer'. The beat, a genius loop of the chorus of Nine Inch Nails' 'Hurt', brings to mind the scene of a secret midnight forest bathed in moonlight, guarded by a resident owl army that diligently watches over their kingdom from the tree tops. You can almost picture the scene in the first 10 second intro: the howl of the wind rustling the leaves in the midnight black forest and the twinkle of the moonlight in the eyes of the owls. However, this scene does not last long. This mystical and eerie instrumental is then suddenly subjected to the brutal, yet also strangely complementary, raw and relentless flow of our heroes; Ice cube, Mack 10 and DubC. Like an elite team of commandos sent to storm the forest and overthrow the owl dynasty, our rap trio reign down over the instrumental like napalm in a campaign of shock and awe. The mission: to make sure no tree or living thing is standing in their wake. The owls can do nothing but surrender to the flow but our trio slaughter them anyway, for fun no less.

In terms of lyrical content, on first listen you could be forgiven for thinking that this is just another typical gangster rap track where the Westside trio glorify their criminal antics. The title of the track reflects the mantra of the chorus where the trio repeat over and over again 'the gangster, the killer and the dope dealer' – the roles that they no doubt associate themselves with in this gangster rap universe. However on repeated listens the complexity and genius of this track reveals itself.

In fact, we begin to understand that the gangster, the killer and the dope dealer are not being glorified at all. Rather, it is the aim of the trio to make us, the listener, face the hard reality that it is exactly these 3 types of criminal that exist in this world and, to put it in their words, help make 'the world go round'. They may live and work outside the pretty parameters known to most of middle America but they nonetheless play as much a of a role in society and the economy as any law abiding man, woman and child. The money that flows through the hands of these criminals is the same money that flows through the hands of all of us, which in turn flows into the legitimate businesses that fuel our economies. As such, these criminals have their dark yet defined place in society that makes a real and substantial contribution to the economy and the way we all live our lives.

However, the Westside connection do not stop there. Their real goal of this track is to make us really rethink our notions of good and bad, heaven and hell. A gangster, a killer and a dope dealer – although identified as three separate types of criminal in this track – in reality can be and often are one and the same person i.e. It is not uncommon for a dope dealer to be a gang banger who also dabbles in killing people. In this sense, we can see that the concept of gangster, killer and dope dealer is actually a homage to the holy trinity of the Christian church – the father (god), the son (Jesus) and the holy spirit. In Christianity, the holy trinity are three separate entities but they all represent the one overriding great and holy power that is God. The gangster, the killer and the dope dealer, taken separately, could be interpreted to represent the multiple dirty underbellies of society in this world we live in, but as a whole could be seen to reflect the overriding evil power that is necessary in this world to counteract and balance the overriding positive and good power that is God.

Lenny McLean drops some gems on the importance of using the emotion of hate when you're involved in a bare knuckle fight. Remember boys & girls… HATE…. sooooo much LOL.

Pimpin' ain't easy… but it's a whole lotta fun

Every parents worst nightmare LOL